Review - On Endings, Expectations, and Take Shelter

Take Shelter could have been the best movie of 2011.

By the time it arrived at Ottawa’s little Mayfair Theatre in late December I was actually anticipating it more than I had any other film that year, beating out The Muppets and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. As cliché as it sounds, writer/director Jeff Nichols’ understated little thriller had everything: nuanced performances, pitch perfect cinematography, a minimalist but undeniably effective score and a constant atmosphere of dread. But while Nichols’ sophomore feature is 99 per cent of a fantastic movie, the remaining one percent is in danger of dragging the whole cinematic boat beneath the waves (note: none of my friends have approved this analogy). To say I’m disappointed is an understatement.

Rant - Carry On Wayward Son

I seem to have developed a secondary musical taste.

Yes, it’s a strange thing to say. Normally when one talks about developing a secondary anything they’re usually referring to some bizarre mutation: secondary organs, secondary limbs, or any other biological redundancy that might result from proximity to Chernobyl. I’ve never been off this continent, let alone within range of Ukraine, and so I’m unable to link this newly discovered tangential fondness to the ill effects of radiation, but it’s a mutation nevertheless.

Review - The Annotated AvP: The Story, part 2

Last month, I opened up the Pandora’s Box that was my 13-year-old self’s attempt at writing a novel. Without spoiling too much, it’s an adaptation of the excellent computer game Aliens versus Predator 2 and an unintentionally hilarious example of fan fiction at its near worst—though not the absolute worst. Thankfully, late grade school me had little interest in crafting harrowing slash fiction, unlike some of the borderline sexual deviants prowling the Web. Make no mistake, however: it’s thoroughly terrible, so much that I felt this poor excuse for literature deserved a Mystery Science Theatre 3000-esque treatment.

This week, I’ve selected some of the funniest/weirdest/most embarrassing moments from AvP: The Story, focusing on the introduction of the Predator protagonist, the aptly-named Swift-Death.