Tangent - A Midsummer Night's Delirium

Pictured: the atmosphere inside my house.

Things I would prefer to this week's heat wave:
  • Having my toenails yanked off one at a time.
  • Running face first into a tree.
  • Stubbing any and all of my toes.
  • Being forced to replay the final episode of The Walking Dead game on repeat.
  • Being shot non-vitally.
Why would I prefer to be ravaged in these ways? Because, if done properly, all are over with pretty quickly, unlike Ottawa's recent heat wave which is supposed to last for another week.

I live on the top floor of a three storey house. The house is roughly a century old, if not more, and as a result it has nothing in the way of central air. Even with a standing fan at the foot of my bed and a portable air conditioner a metre and a half away I am currently dying.

I could turn this into some rant about global warming but to be perfectly honest I don't have the energy to write so much as a sentence on the subject. So instead I will say this:

Fuck this awful season. I can't wait for winter.


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